Date when I should be on holiday with my ex-boyfriend, Pietro, 10:39
Great. I’ve lost my phone. My favourite bra broke and that flea-ridden, miserable, tiny monster that is my neighbour’s dog just bit me. Perhaps I should just lock myself in the house. But no, I won’t give in to superstition. In fact, I'm about to leave for my 'solo' holiday.
18:45
Thank God, I made it to the sea. No more catastrophes happened so far. The beach is basically empty, only the sweet rustle of the waves is breaking the silence and the sun is softly dying. I’m on holiday, hurray! Now I have something like seven or eight days to pull myself together, empower my self-esteem, decide how to spend the rest of my time off and, above all, whatever I choose to do, which spirit will affect my mood. I ‘m lucky, because I know it already: the spirit of a ‘Rules-Girl’.
I came across to this revealing best-seller by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider – a little dated maybe, but always efficacious: The Complete Book of Rules: Time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right.
And it’s just thanks to The Rules that I’m back on track. I will now focus goals and priorities; I’ll canalise my energy; I will settle down. Actually, I’ll do way more that: I won’t give a damn.
How should I deal with the only device likely to blow up my sanity – the phone? Should I adopt a drastic approach and turn it off completely, or a softer one, which entails receiving incoming texts and calls and react with maturity to their content (or their absence?).
I know: I will leave it on my bed-side cabinet and I’ll go out for a good, healthy cycle.
I am so good, so strong.
The man I had by my side was not the right one for me, I’m more and more convinced.
Go, Donna, go! There’s plenty to do out there!
I’m going now.
19:00
I think at the moment I’ll stay in. The thing is, I fell cosy in the seaside family house. It’s very simple, even frugal: second-hand furniture and that kind of ‘love or hate’ china style that was popular in the Seventies. I like my vintage brown coffee cup: the line of its handle reminds me of cursive writing. One of the first things I make sure I do whenever I come here is, I put the coffee on and reach for my brown cup.
Anyway: I was talking about The Rules, the illuminating book that explains how to deal with men. Now, this is the instruction manual we were never provided with. Basically what it says is –and this is the thing that really struck me- all you have to do to capture that elusive Mr Right is concentrating on living your own life. Do your own things, keep busy. He’s the one who needs to come after you, not the other way around. It is not necessary –nor advisable- to plan your life around him.
A ‘Rules-girl’ is always on the go, because she has many interests and hobbies. She’s got her job, the gym, her friends, her house, her books and the shopping.
The basic rules for Phase No. 1 (the courtship) are
- (Almost) never call him
- You must end phone-calls (not him)
- Don’t try to hook him up. Don’t address him first. Needless to say, don’t be the first to ask him out.
- Don’t stare at him (so, just to be perfectly clear, both abstinence-driven looks and fatal bird-of-prey glances are ruled out).
Then, when Phase 2 begins– the actual dating (which in time-terms means the first weeks or, if you have come to master ‘The Rules’, the first months):
- Do not accept last-minute invitations. If he wants to go out with you, he needs to plan ahead. You’re not there, thumbs-(..) waiting for him. There are deadlines: he wants to go out with you on Saturday? He needs to ask you by Wednesday. After that, you might be already ‘booked’.
- Make sure that your first date doesn’t last for longer than two/three hours. Keep it short and gradually extend duration at the next dates.
- Do not sleep with him too early (hard one, I know).
- Do not reveal your weaknesses (what am I, dumb?)
- Do not talk too much. You don’t have to fill in silence. Leave him to worry about that.
- Never, ever talk about marriage and children. Indirect references to that friend of yours who is about to get married are forbidden too; yes, also Level 2 indirect references (‘my friend’s friend).
Remember –say The rules, men like challenges: he must come to see you like one who is difficult to access and conquer. Do not slam the door open for him nor offer him shortcuts: he will soon lose interest.
Very well, all I have to do now is practicing The Rules, in the hope that Mr Right pays me a visit at some point.
